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Somehow, we raised a daughter that is not and it breaks my heart.She is now well into her 20′s and is in debt up to her eyeballs.
It hurts to do that but you have to love her enough to be willing to endure that hurt unselfishly so she can learn to take care of herself.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you and your husband will have to be the ones to do it. There is no getting around it so you’ll have to choose now what you are going to do.
If you don’t act because you think it is too hard, realize that, in a way, it is the same thing your daughter is doing.
Until they have the rug pulled out from under them, they will not change. They know you will bail them out so, if it’s a little difficult to do something else, why should they bother to help themselves?
She also knows that you wouldn’t want to throw out your grandchild or mess up your credit over the loan you co-signed. She may not even consciously know that is what she is doing but that is what it boils down to.