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The married couples present agreed that all should expect to be changed in some way by the faith of their partners. That’s how far I’ve come.”Opportunities for prayer were provided at several points during the weekend: a room was set aside for the five daily Muslim prayers, there was Catholic Mass and an ecumenical morning prayer.“I have always deeply felt the need to fulfill my promise to raise my children Catholic, and before they were born I thought that if they ever decided to become Muslims as adults I would be crushed,” said one mother. Mirroring contemporary American society, couples differed greatly in their degree of personal and mutual religious practice.

On Saturday night, retreatants participated in an activity designed to get them thinking about boundaries.One married couple hadn’t prayed together “because we never had the chance.” Another couple (engaged) hadn’t prayed together either, but because of a conscious choice.In this case, the Christian woman felt she needed to go to church alone, so she could pray without constantly worrying about how her partner would react to the crucifix, the Eucharist and so on.The couples were asked to split into four groups (Muslim women, Muslim men, Christian women, Christian men) to discuss and list negotiables and non-negotiables in the form of “I shall” and “I shall not” statements.They were also asked to list their fears, rational or not.

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