Cocky funny online dating

It doesn't FIT on one screen, because it doesn't BELONG on one screen. I love adventure and travel and have done so somewhat extensively.

And I should warn you that even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want to kiss me passionately or slap me silly. I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every woman on this site. I'm very close with my family and value that aspect of my life very highly. The upshot is that I am much better looking in person, I am not afraid of commitment, and I can be a lot of fun. Extra side of bacon please, and a diet coke to drink, i'm watching my figure. Crap about the universe, quantum physics, and biology that would render a normal persons brain into...bacon grease. I work hard so I can buy myself awesome shit like a laser that lights shit on fire! Fuck dorks and nerds, a bunch of losers if you ask me, which you will because I am so damn interesting. That's the reason I have dipped my toes into online dating. My grandmother just picked the same one up yesterday." Bang!I believe in a higher power and have been raised a Christian. Essentially I am interested in friendship and fun, and if anything develops from there, then I don't necessarily object. (I actually got that for Christmas, but I was going to buy one) I also want one of those robots that cleans my carpet. I will trash talk your little brother on Xbox live into submission as I paint his face with a blue fuzzy grenade. If you are a high maintenance, duck face picture taking, can't hang with the guys kind of woman, or if you are a pirate hooker (Long story) Please step to the side to let the awesome chicks by. First date-We could start off with a stroll by the local landfill, make fun of the seagulls because there isn't a fucking ocean in Ohio! If you don't have balls..think you just might catch my attention, fucking message me already I am busy over here!My rule of thumb is to take any statement made on email and divide it's wording impact in half so that you don't blow someone's face off. Now, rather than refer to 30 years' worth of research found in academic journals on social psychology and behaviour modification, I'll just sit here all smug and shit and point out that if you read my profile and don't message or reply to the Dodger, it's because you're some combination of train wreck, stupid, insecure, and boring. Since the Dodger is aware that the vast majority of women on online-dating sites are meet-nobody attention whores who are here for only ego-propping, validation, and therapy (that includes YOU until proven otherwise, sugar lips! - "I'm a highly successful online dater" in my eyes translates to "this guy is just looking for an easy way to score chicks to fuck." Again, women are looking for Mr. ), I have only one small request: DO NOT MESSAGE THE DODGER OR REPLY TO THE DODGER IF YOU SUCKY DUCKY WHEN IT COMES TO A BATTLE OF WITS.

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I'm a highly successful online dater, which I believe is the epitome of human accomplishment. Not unless they're really good drugs and you're willing to share.

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