Cousin dating is not okay speech
So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right.The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy." And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one.Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one." That's what psychologists call an "Aha! That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20.
She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency, please call ..." She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.By "get identity capital," I mean do something that adds value to who you are.