Dating an addict in recovery
“Learn to define for yourself the things that you will not compromise for a love interest (‘deal-breakers’), such as your values, personal interests and spirituality.
Only then will you be healthy and whole as a partner for someone else.” Be Patient. Even though it may feel like the process is agonizingly slow, there is no substitute for taking the time in the first year to focus exclusively on recovery.
Many recovering addicts benefit from ongoing support to help them work through their insecurities, build confidence, and learn to feel and express emotions in healthy ways.
Only when people know who they are and what they have to offer can they find a mate who is an appropriate match for their values, interests and goals.“If they start dating too soon, they are likely to choose someone who is emotionally less mature, as they themselves are, than if they waited a year.” People tend to choose partners who are at their same emotional maturity level.It would follow then, that recovering individuals would choose differently after working on themselves first.This control is attractive at first, but soon becomes controlling or abusive” says Desloover.“As women grow more confident and emotionally healthy in recovery, their self-esteem and confidence improves, and they begin to actually like themselves.