“When I was in graduate school,” says Broder, “we were taught—in what we then called ‘marriage counseling’—that it was successful when the marriage was saved, and not successful when it wasn’t.I believe there’s no such thing as a ‘happy couple.’ There’s such things as two happy individuals. It’s kind of like a corporation.” To keep two people together unhappily, he says, is to do no service to anyone.“The therapist helped us understand what’s normal—or rather, healthy—and what’s not.For instance, I grew up where screaming was normal in the house.”“I wanted to make a good-faith effort,” she added, “and I believe in him as a good person.” The phrase “good-faith effort”—or something similar—is repeated often by uncertain couples, along with the notion of giving the relationship “one last try.”Some professionals have less patience for unmarried partners in troubled longterm, live-in relationships.Please let us know if you would like more information. Volunteers handle the on-call from pm until am Monday through Friday and on […] Read more... With more volunteers, we are able to provide more dollars toward direct victim services. As a courtesy, please do not use profanity on this site.Volunteers can help at our Second ACT Thrift Store, our Arts for ACT Art Gallery, or in our various departments, including direct service with clients. Our blog is closely monitored on a daily basis, and we will respond to your questions and comments as soon as possible. This site is owned and maintained by Abuse Counseling and Treatment, Inc., a non-profit agency funded in part by United Way of Lee, Hendry and Glades Counties, Lee County, Florida Department of Health, Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Florida Council Against Sexual Violence, City of Fort Myers, City of Cape Coral, The Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, Office of the Attorney General, The Bobby Nichols - Fiddlesticks Charity Foundation, fundraising and donations from the community.
In working with the longterm unmarried set, therapists or relationship coaches often say they see more similarities to married couples than differences.
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”It seems the question is changing from “Is it too late to save our relationship? “I’m seeing more younger, unmarried couples than ever,” he says.
“I didn’t used to, but in the last 10 to 15 years, it’s really been increasing.” Broder estimates that today one third of his couples are unmarried, and of these, some never intend to marry.
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“Where you get past that point where everything happens automatically.”In the case of unmarried couples in longterm relationships, therapy serves as it has done traditionally, as the tipping point for bringing ambivalent partners closer together.