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For me, the moment my relationships got hard, I’d have a very hard time showing my genuine interest, so I put on a fake smile and said things were fine.But inside I was truly losing interest mostly because I didn’t know how to deal with the relationship challenges. The only thing I ever owned was that I didn’t want to call her my girlfriend.I didn’t want to say “I love you” because that was reserved for when I met The One. guy isn’t wrong, and it’s not necessarily his fault.If he’s a normal male, he was conditioned into this through his upbringing and doesn’t even know it’s going on with him.Emotionally healthy people who have done some sort of personal development, by contrast, show a quiet confidence that says they can be intimate and committed despite their flaws.Emotionally unavailable people tend to be perfectionists, always looking for the fatal flaw or character defect that gives them permission to exit a relationship and move on.Perhaps, they are recently divorced or widowed, and legitimately not ready to get involved in an intimate relationship.

Once the relationship becomes too intimate, they'll cut and run. Look out for the person who is quick to flatter and compliment you without really knowing you. In a discussion about their past relationships, they will denigrate their former partners.

But when those same "in love" people take off their rose colored glasses, they realize the person they thought was Mr. ("He's so good-looking," or "What a gorgeous woman! If a person is serious about finding an emotionally available person for a committed partnership, there are whole categories of people who should be avoided: people living in another state, those who are still married or in love with someone else, and people with addictions - be it workaholics or drug addicts.

The "booby prize" in life is trying to understand or change the behavior of an emotionally unavailable person.

They lack the maturity to take responsibility for their mistakes in their past relationships.

Make sure to probe a new person to find out why past long-term relationships did not work and ended.

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  2. If you just discovered you’ve been cheated on, your job right now is to take very good care of yourself. Most likely you either feel numb, like you’re having an out of body experience, or you feel searing emotional pain. Get your rest – You need your wits about you right now. People who’ve been cheated on joke morosely about the “Infidelity Diet.” It’s not uncommon to lose 10 lbs a week from the sheer stress. You may feel revolted by food now, or have terrible thoughts about the infidelity that make you throw up. But for now – make sure you’re downing something each day (not high balls at the bar, okay? So you may hesitate to reach out to people in your life who can help you, for fear of exposing the cheater — and also of embarrassing yourself or dooming a reconciliation. You need to draw supportive friends and family close to you now. Not only will you survive it, there’s an excellent chance that you will end up with a much better life than you had before.