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Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work.
The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked.
I actually had tears in my eyes." - Bianca from Vienna "Thanks for a brilliant night and pulling me out of my comfort zone (to shake like a leaf on stage and tell my story) guys - definitely will remember this one...
Having kissed my fair share of frogs on Tinder, I can attest that dating is horrible. Luckily, bad date stories are supremely entertaining and very fun to tell. In these scenarios, the lemon is a scrubby dude who always forgets his wallet at home.
Ppl with no filter at all telling their stories and it's hilarious 🤣🤣 Thank for the laugh guys👍 " - Helina from Hamburg "I went there with a friend today and I was laughing from beginning to the end.Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams in bed with me and she insisted we do anal. FML Today, while I brewed myself a cup of coffee, my best friend began screwing around with a can opener like it was nunchucks.FML Today, my husband went through my phone and computer, accusing me of cheating. After I got it in and started going to town, I figured I would finger her while banging her from behind. He looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if-" as he flung it around and one of the handles flew off, directly into my testicles. The entire time I was playing, one of my classmates sitting up front kept booing me and yelling "YOU SUCK" at the top of his lungs. FML Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams in bed with me and she insisted we do anal. Baffled and hurt by the untrue accusation, I asked what he found that made him think that. FML Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I might lose those last few pounds as I can’t drink or eat without excruciating pain. After I got it in and started going to town, I figured I would finger her while banging her from behind. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired.