But now, all these years later, I understand why he made that comment.
I DON’T REMEMBER the missionaries’ names, only that one was blond and one was dark, one was from Oregon and one was from Utah.
But it's a quiet Sunday and thought I'd toss out a random story. He doesn't attend church anymore, but still believes the LDS Church is the only true church on the face of the earth. (I should have listened to my North Star friend - he actually had a point!
The Moho blogosphere has been kinda quiet and uneventful as of late, and I too haven't had much motivation to speak my mind. But the more you find out about each other, the more confused you get.
Addressing himself as “Walt,” in the third-person, he charged himself with foolishness and weakness. “Walt, you ridiculous stupid little ass.” Sometimes strangers heard him and turned to stare.
That statement is still true, but I've also fallen into an old habit: only seeking out Mormon guys to date. I consider myself an ex-Mormon, yet still find myself attracted to others with an LDS background. I've had a few disagreements with these guys in casual conversations. Plus when you land on a Tinder profile and together you have more than 5 mutual friends that are LDS, chances are that person is also LDS.) It's frustrating, but I know how these guys feel. Trying to balance my homosexuality with my church attendance. But now as a non-believer, it's turned into a deal breaker.
I was examining his face, his manner, and trying—if such a thing is possible—to peer into his soul. Attacks on Mormonism by liberal wits and their unlikely partners in ridicule, conservative evangelical Christians, instantly filled me with resentment, particularly when they made mention of “magic underwear” and other supposedly spooky, cultish aspects of Mormon doctrine and theology.
On the other hand, legitimate reminders of the Church hierarchy’s decisive support for Proposition 8, the California gay marriage ban, disgusted me.
I guess the ole "Can leave the church but can't leave it alone" statement really resonates with me. He actively dates guys, yet still actively goes to church every week. He has his doubts about the church, but he'd rather attend church with his friends that contemplate the veracity of the gospel. (I'm sure you're curious as to how I 'find' all these Mormons. It wasn't until I decide to leave one (the church) and accept the other (my gayness) that I saw the light and became perfectly content. I do not try to de-convert these guys and persuade them to leave like I did. Finding other gay Mormons makes for an easy conversation starter. (Yep, I used ice breaker and deal breaker in the same paragraph!
Many years ago, a friend actively involved in North Star said, "I will never date guys, but if I did, I would never date another Mormon." When he said this, I thought he was crazy. When using apps like Tinder or OKCupid it's easy to spot the Mohos. ) So in the never-ending battle of dating guys, I need to focus more on people who have no knowledge of the LDS Church. I don't have a problem going out with people who have completely left the church, like I have.) ...
Search for exmormon dating:
The blond one, whose hair had a complicated wave in it and whose body was shaped like a hay bale, broad and square, wiped his feet with vigor on our doormat and complimented my mother on our house, a one-story, ranch-style affair in central Phoenix that never fully cooled off during the night and had scorpions and black widow spiders in the walls. Then they asked, softly, politely, if we could pray.