How do you know when to start dating again

A few weeks after his death, I received a letter from my insurance company.

The letter said that when you lose a spouse it is normal to want to date, usually sooner rather than later.

In setting boundaries in my love life, I genuinely found myself.

And finally I realized that I could be with a man and, furthermore, consider having a future with someone other than Mark.

XO, Kelly Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA.

She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her.

I buried this idea along with the letter knowing I would re-enter the dating scene in my own time. I was by myself at the grocery store and I looked up to find a man watching me with an interested look in his eye. I called him and asked him what he thought about me dating. I’m so happy you are considering it.” Her response wasn’t what I expected, but from both her and my father-in-law’s answers I felt better about moving forward.

I knew that even as I started dating, I still had to continue to fill my own life with my own positive activities, people, and feelings; I could not put the pressure on someone else to fill Mark’s place—if I did, neither one of us would ever be truly happy. After several pages I started to wonder if I was just being extremely critical because I wasn’t ready.

Third, I needed to fully embrace the feeling of being attracted to another person. But in that same moment, I stumbled upon a profile of an attractive man whose profile made me smile.

Or maybe you wonder with a mixture of anticipation and fear what dating will feel like the next time around.

As I say in my book Date Expectations, you have to understand your emotional patterns before you can find the right relationship.

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