How to make the transition from friends to dating
“The purity of an initial friendship allows you to see someone’s character before it’s blurred by sexual intentions and wanting to ‘get’ something physical out of it,” dating expert Matthew Hussey told Certainly, no relationship can stand the test of time without the foundations of a strong friendship, agrees love and relationships author Daniel Jones.
“The most enduring romantic relationships - long-term marriages and partnerships - end up being much more about compatibility and companionship than sexuality,” he told us.
“I have a friend who is possibly more than a friend after we crossed the line, but he's also definitely not my boyfriend or anything close to that, so we have a really confusing relationship where neither of us actually knows how the other feels." As for the whole friends with benefits conundrum?
Unless it’s a short-term, contractual agreement (“thou shalt not acquire romantic feelings”), it’s a turn-of-phrase that’s best left to rom coms, advised the dating experts.
You can test them a little to see how they react when you talk about what you are up to when you aren't with them.“I see a lot of stories where people never admit to their feelings and just keep hoping the other person will figure out how they feel, but that can turn into a kind of prolonged torture. Don't build it up with all kinds of weighty baggage that backs the other person into a corner.” That’s not to say that coming clean is easy, when friends begin dating each other, there’s naturally a lot more at stake."I think going from friends to more than that is often scary because if it doesn't go well, it's pretty much impossible to go back to your friendship the way it was before,” says 24-year-old Laura from London.Theresa Di Donato, Associate Professor of Psychology at Loyola University."It can give you a safe space to see if the other person flirts back.” It doesn't have to be anything too overt right away – we started off with dressing room selfies where we asked each other's opinions on outfits we already knew we looked really good in.