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I got an email from a reader who explained that she is going through a divorce, and that the divorce was HER decision.

She asked me if I could give her some advice for a woman in her situation.

I have said to her often, “Sometimes I feel like you are lucky because you didn’t have a say in this.” Sometimes it’s easier to be the dumpee versus the dumper.

When something happens to you, you have no control. In closing, divorce is very painful for both people, regardless of who left who. But in the end, what ends up happening is, no one really remembers who left who. All that is of significance is how the two people live their lives from that point on, and how they treat each other after the divorce, especially when it comes to the kids.

I am in therapy for all the feelings including guilt.

The fact is, this has hurt him and ripped his heart out (those were his words).” I have a few thoughts about this woman’s situation.

What I mean is, they somehow start to blame the other person, and then become angry at the other person, and then they turn into a nightmare for that person by being cruel and vicious. But, I fell in love with someone else and it seemed right.

(or didn’t know it was coming.) “I feel like most things I read are about a women who feels like a victim in the beginning, and who comes out stronger eventually,” she wrote. “It would be so much easier if I could stamp him as a cheater, alcoholic, slacker, loser, abuser. He has been a good father to our kids, a loyal husband as far as I know, and a good provider for our family.), and thought we should have all our names etched on the Cross Bay/Marine Park bridges as we paid for them many times over! Sheri Jacobs Langer He bought me a turtle and I called it Bartsie. Susan Friedman Brownstein Michael was the first person I remember when I moved to Rockaway in the fall of 1963. Seemed to greet each new day (we met on the coffee line in the bagel store on many a morning! Joel Hamberger Today, March 14th, is the 11th anniversary of Mike's passing.His mother knit him beautiful sweaters, so I started to knit one for him but only finished half. I was placed into a 6th grade classroom in September. Lenore Behar Mankof I got to know Mike only a few years before he passed away. I think of him every day....because I have a photograph on my wall reminding me of the great days we had together as friends. And today I've been recollecting more then usual about those times we had together. Their "Brother in the Struggle" Andy Krosnick This is a very belated post for Michael.It was as if someone was always in my ear saying, “Well, this is what you wanted, isn’t it? I’m sure that women who leave their husbands, (even the girl I can’t stand) agonize over the decision, and go back and forth a million times before actually doing it.I have a dear friend whose husband blindsided her, and left her for another woman who he married two minutes after the divorce was final.

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He was kind, fun, a great athlete and I guess a bit troubled. David Abelson Dawn's mother and my mother were friends before either one of us were even born. She was a beautiful and talented woman who was very involved in school activities.

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