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I agreed to a monogamous relationship, and I've gone a year without hooking up with anyone else.But if an eroticized power imbalance—an honestly erotized one—doesn't turn you on, the creepily manipulative arrangement your husband is proposing certainly isn't going to work.Which means it's both ultimatum and bluff-calling time.The first step toward holding yourself accountable for your appalling actions—a close friend of your wife? Or maybe the wrongness and the self-loathing—the whole bad-boy-on-the-rack routine—turn you on.Or maybe you're the wrong kind of sadist: the un-self-aware emotional sadist.